Husband, father, intercourse employee: As adults, Afghanistan’s ‘dancing boys’ lead double lives – intercourse and relationships

In conservative Afghanistan, former dancing boy Farhad leads a double life; married father-of-six by day, cross-dressing dancer and intercourse employee by evening.

The observe of “bacha bazi” – translated as “boy play” – includes boys dressing up and dancing at non-public events, but it surely was outlawed in 2017 amid considerations it fostered sexual abuse and servitude of younger boys by highly effective, older males. Islamic clerics led requires the centuries-old custom to be stopped, saying these concerned ought to be stoned for sodomy which is forbidden beneath Islamic legislation.

“(However bacha bazi) continues to occur and is a grave human rights violation,” mentioned Abdul Rasheed, govt director of the non-profit Youth Well being and Growth Group (YHDO).

“Urgent fees in opposition to the perpetrators is nearly inconceivable as many are able of energy,” he added.

The YHDO has highlighted how sexual abuse and trafficking of boys was a observe that exploded throughout Afghanistan’s civil struggle within the 1990s, with boys from rural areas flocking to cities to seek out work to help households, leaving them susceptible to abuse.

In 2019 support staff mentioned they had been seeing a rising variety of kids orphaned or compelled to work on the streets.

However human rights campaigners voiced considerations not solely concerning the abuse of younger boys however the impression on these compelled into this type of exploitation of their later lives.

Farhad, now 29 – who requested to not be recognized by his actual title – mentioned he was raped in his early teenagers by a number of native cops however his dad and mom rapidly moved from their residence metropolis and by no means wished to speak concerning the assault or report it.

Disgrace, or threats from these accountable, prevents most victims of sexual abuse from talking up in a rustic the place the sexes are strictly segregated and it’s common for males to bounce for different males at weddings.

Psychologist Lyla Schwartz, who works with little one victims of rape in war-torn Afghanistan, mentioned harsh parental attitudes meant many abuse victims carried the trauma into maturity.

“Stigma and unsupportive, denying relations make the therapeutic technique of being sexually abused much more tough,” she mentioned.


Farhad’s good friend, Ramesh, 28 – who additionally spoke on situation of anonymity – was raped when he was 16.

“A automotive with armed militia stopped. They pulled me inside and drove off, asserting to their pals that that they had introduced ‘a lovely boy’. The boys took turns raping me,” he mentioned.

Ramesh mentioned when his attackers took him residence three days later, his household had already guessed what had occurred.

“My mom beat me and my father wished to kill me,” Ramesh recalled. Weeks later, the household moved from a northern city to the capital.

However comparable assaults occurred in Kabul the place he was compelled to bounce at events as a “bacha bareesh”, translated as a boy with no beard.

After Ramesh completed college, he began to have intercourse with males for cash, however he additionally bought married. At the moment, he has three kids however most of his revenue comes from intercourse work.

“I realised many males wished to sleep with me and I wanted cash. I began going residence with folks and developed an curiosity. Some at the moment are my purchasers and pay me; others are pals who I determine to have intercourse with,” he mentioned.

Ali Abdi, a PhD candidate at Yale College who has been researching same-sex relations in Afghanistan since 2016, mentioned there might be tons of of former dancing boys in Kabul making a dwelling as dancers or intercourse staff.

Abdi mentioned in distinction to different sexual abuse victims, all the previous dancing boys he had spoken to engaged in intercourse with males as adults, usually main sophisticated, confused lives.


Given the selection, Farhad says he would have had gender-reassignment surgical procedure as he had all the time wished to stay as a lady however as a substitute he married and lived a double life.

“Afghan society places a variety of strain on folks like us … We’re continuously nervous, continuously hiding,” Farhad informed the Thomson Reuters Basis, sporting a floral gown and vivid lipstick as he spoke at a good friend’s residence within the capital, Kabul.

Each morning at his personal home within the metropolis, Farhad will get wearing a standard Afghan tunic and eats a plate of fried eggs for breakfast earlier than heading out till late for work.

He tells his spouse and kids he has a job as a driver, and whereas they by no means ask questions, he assumes they know the reality.

A number of nights per week, he places on vibrant attire and make-up, paints his nails and performs as a dancer at non-public events, usually having intercourse with males for cash afterwards.

“I stay a double life. I don’t determine as a person. If I had the selection, I’d endure a intercourse change,” he mentioned.

Farhad mentioned he had made the tough determination to marry and conceal behind a traditional household life due to the potential risks of being open about his gender id.

“(Being overtly) homosexual, lesbian, bisexual or transgender in Afghanistan is to danger abuse, even dying,” mentioned Human Proper Watch’s affiliate Asia director Patricia Gossman.

Abdi mentioned the most important risk usually got here from kin.

“If a member of the family finds out about their sexual proclivities, the violence they could expertise could also be unspeakable,” he mentioned.

“They could get crushed, sexually abused, raped, kidnapped, and even killed beneath sure circumstances.”

Like Farhad, Ramesh mentioned he assumed his spouse knew about his secret life. His ft are adorned with henna and he usually comes residence within the early hours.

Neither of them desires to separate up their households, and so they don’t have any plans to depart Afghanistan, hoping as a substitute that their homeland will regularly change into extra open and accepting.

The weekend is an opportunity for the 2 pals to flee, usually becoming a member of different former dancing boys for drives by way of town, or picnics on the hilly outskirts.

“It’s solely throughout our temporary moments collectively that we neglect and that we’re free,” Ramesh mentioned.

(This story has been revealed from a wire company with out modifications to the textual content)

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